Through my neurotic addiction to fertility forums and support groups, I have noticed that many women struggling with infertility share a common reaction to pregnancy announcements. This reaction is generally a blend of outrage at the lack of sympathy their friends or family have (how dare they!) or an overwhelming sadness at the usually happy news. In fact, during our first year and a half of struggling with miscarriages I had my best friend come to me in tears telling me she was pregnant and she’s so sorry, but she couldn’t wait any longer to tell me. While appreciate the sensitivity she demonstrated during a difficult time in my life, I thought, “do people really think I will be upset that they are celebrating such a special moment in their lives?” A year later I would find out that yes there are people that are upset, and although I can empathize with the emotional rollercoaster that comes with the infertility struggle, I also find myself empathizing with the other side. Here are 5 reasons that I still looooooooove hearing that people are pregnant:
#1. Infertility Can Be a Selfish Sport
During years of miscarriages, emergency surgeries, and now IVF treatments I have often found myself completely consumed with my own woes. It is understandable to be a little (or a lotta) moody or unsympathetic towards the problems of others, but eventually I figured out that this was not the lesson I should gain from this experience. As women, infertility is such a difficult and trying issue to contend with, however, one of the benefits I have observed during this process is that I have become more empathetic towards those around me. With the women in my support group who answer questions and share their personal stories, to my friends and family that have kids and struggle with pregnancy issues and toddler issues, and dad-get-off-the-couch issues, I feel like we are all working hard every day and struggles are not something to compete about. Everyone is entitled to their peaks and pits, and I can’t wait until the day I can complain about my pregnancy hemorrhoids.
#2. I REALLY Love Babies
I mean….duh. Why else would drag my ass to a million doctor’s appointments and give them, literally, all of our dollars? I love babies. I want to steal them from my friends. I want to have 10 of them, but my husband says we would have to live on the streets (still weighing these options). So when someone tells me that they are pregnant my initial reaction is, “when can I smell the baby?” (totally normal).
#3. It Really is a Freakin’ Miracle!
After a few of our late night ragers in the ER, my husband looked at me and said, “Dude, so many things have to go right at the exact same time to make a baby.” I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right, my husband is sexy AND reflective. Even though it seems like some women get pregnant by just looking at a ween (scientific term), it really is a million factors coming together perfectly to create and carry life. So I say, “Good job buddy!,” to all the moms out there for whom the universe really put it together for, and I stay hopeful that my time will be soon.